


Stopping A Hurricane

by Badwolf36



Series: Caught in the Storm [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Wanderlust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badwolf36/pseuds/Badwolf36
Summary: The thing of it is, is that Leonard McCoy really wishes he'd never met Jim Kirk.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Series: Caught in the Storm [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767175
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Stopping A Hurricane

The thing of it is, is that Leonard McCoy really wishes he'd never met Jim Kirk.   
  
He doesn’t _like_ feeling like an asshole when he shows up out of the blue and the kid just looks so damn fucking grateful that Leonard has deigned to come back. It makes Leonard feel like he’s throwing a dog a tennis ball, and nine times out of ten, he’s hiding the ball behind his back and acting like he’s thrown it while the dog tears off into the distance.  
  
The thing of it is, Jim always goes after the damn ball. He always falls to his knees at Leonard’s feet when Leonard wants a blowjob, knows when to go to all fours or roll over on his back so Leonard can fuck him. And he’s always so damn _grateful_ about it that it makes Leonard feel like the world’s biggest bastard when he leaves again.   
  
Because he _always_ has to leave again.

A couple of weeks, a month, and then his skin starts to itch and he _has_ to be back out on the road. Sometimes, when he’s watching a sunset from a sand dune on the Florida coast, or getting a fresh pretzel from a street vendor in New York, he thinks to himself, _Jim would love this._ And he thinks about calling, but he doesn’t. He picks up postcards everywhere he goes, writes out “Hi Jim-” and then stops, because he doesn’t know what to say.   
  
He’s never asked Jim to come. Some days, when he’s lying in Jim’s bed, the man himself at the office, he thinks that Jim would be on the back of his bike the second he asked. That thought is almost immediately trailed by ones like: _It wouldn’t be fair to drag him away from his job_ or _He'd miss his life here._  
  
Some days, Leonard admits to himself that he’s a selfish, self-centered bastard.   
  
But he can’t stop himself. Even when he sees the way Jim’s bright blue gaze is a little more brittle every time Leonard comes back. Even if the kisses Jim presses against his lips seem to taste of desperation and bitterness behind the sweetness of lust and passion. Even if Jim clutches so tight to him as he sleeps that Leonard’s covered in finger-shaped bruises by morning.   
  
The thing of it is, Leonard wishes he’d never met Jim, if only to spare him the pain Leonard causes him.   
  
But Leonard _has_ met Jim, and even though he knows he’s ruining them both by blowing his way into and out of Jim’s life, he can’t stop doing it any more than he can stop a hurricane.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, even if this wasn't the happiest of series.


End file.
